What's the Difference between Real Love and Fantasy?

Back in high school, most girls had a teenage fantasy called 'I have a crush on "Mr. too cool". As we were children too, we had those Disney fantasies. Something true about fantasies is that they get more complicated as we grow older and get more layers to disguise them who said we're growing smarter and wiser whoever said that he must be a fool or has the American dream curse.   

As adults, we may seek a romantic partner for all the wrong reasons including seeking to fill an emotional gap or correct past mistakes.

However, most of our fantasies are linked to familiarity in that when people grow accustomed and in love with certain personality or physical traits like those of their parents, for instance, they tend to fantasize and fall hard for others with those traits.

But what's really the difference between real love and fantasy? And how can fantasies be dangerous for our mental health?  

Fantasy is a bond between two people, not three that puts being in a relationship before acts of real love like true passion, compassion, respect, and boundaries.

To differentiate the two feelings, there are 4 signs:

1. Physical Closeness vs Emotional Bond

It's true that all heterosexual relationships include sex yet the marking point here is that in true love feelings and finding your partner by your side in times of need is way more important than changing sex positions to break the routine of empty relationship status. Thus, when sex becomes dominant and crushing interest in a relationship, know that you're living a fantasy that will definitely come to an end unless you put efforts to bond emotionally with your partner.

2. Respecting boundaries vs Violating boundaries 

When someone treats his partner with less respect this shows up in his daily behaviors.Fantasies PLAY A ROLE in this for they activate the possessive behaviors as opposed to a true human connection and as a result one will subconsciously start overstepping boundaries.In this case: Daily conversations will be merely about the practical things in life that are shared between two people living together like do this and don't do that. The possessive jealousy is also so common with these couples.

3. Honesty vs Deception 

Inconstancy is a common theme in couples that are controlled by fantasy. Husbands tend promise their wives things that they can never be or say sweet words that they don't mean some of them even pretend to trust their mates one way to check the consistency of a relationship is to see for yourself if the words are backed up by actions and behaviors. Another way is, to be honest with yourself and learn about how certain words or behaviors can hurt your feelings.

4. Distance vs Closeness

Many teenagers and even young women crush on guys but never seem to take a step further to start a real relationship. It's so messed up for some girls can't even say hi to their crush when the genetically lucky ones seem to catch the attention of their crush for a one night stand then they keep beating themselves up for not being good enough in the eyes of Mr perfect but the truth is:   there is no true connection between the two.

Anyway, real love comes when we expect it the least when fantasy is the obsession with the false ever after the happiness that is never to be reached.